A long heartfelt e-mail to dad and more
I have this positive vibe going through my body right now that I just have to share it with my readers! Two days ago I sent a long heartfelt e-mail to my dad about my dreams and aspirations. It was a difficult step for me to do. The reason for that is, even tho they make me feel I can tell them anything, there’s still a bit of insecurity and fear within me. The past couple of years, shortly after I suffered from depression and psychosis and going to therapy every week, I feel that the relationship between my parents and I have gotten stronger and more honest. They made me feel I belong and that I can always count on them for whatever kind of support.
In my long e-mail to my dad, I explained in detail about my online existence, like having my own blog where I am pretty much open about my life experiences and having my YouTube channel where I have been posting daily videos about my life for the past three years. My dad knows that I have my own YouTube channel, but he doesn’t know what kind of videos I post. Explaining how I talk about depression, my social anxiety, going to therapy and feeling lost and alone in the past. How I have developed a small little audience of viewers who got my back and who can relate to my story. How I interact with people who have gone through similar situations and how we help eachother with positivity.
I also mentioned that the past couple of months I have certain dreams and goals that I want to achieve. How I want to continue sharing my life and be creative at the same time. And that there are a few people on YouTube who I follow and who are giving me inspiration to believe in myself and that I can become whatever I want to become and do what I want.
It took me a while to press the ‘send’ button and I found myself reading the e-mail over and over. After adding more bits of information I finally pressed ‘send’. Anxiety took over, because I was afraid of how my dad would react. Yesterday I didn’t hear anything from my dad, and I didn’t want to call and ask if he received my e-mail.
This morning my mom called for a little chit-chat. Then she said that my dad read my e-mail and that he thought it was so sweet! A little sigh of relieve came out of my mouth. My mom then passed over the phone to my dad and I had a little talk with him. He said that he will always have my back with whatever I want to do. He will always support me 100%. You have no idea how big the smile was on my face. It really meant alot to me to hear that.
I am an adult. I am almost freakin’ 33 years old. But having my parents’ back still means so much to me. I know, I don’t need anyone’s validation, but when it comes to my parents it is important to me. I want them to be proud of me. And hearing they are proud of me means so much to me, it makes me motivated too. They have done so much for me and I am so grateful for that.
I also told my dad that I met my boyfriend Colin through YouTube. He didn’t know that. He thought that was amazing!
I will announce more on my 900th vlog next week. There will be some changes, but good changes. I cannot wait to tell you all about my plans. I am so grateful for everyone who watched my videos from the beginning. It really means a lot to me. With my new ideas that I have, I hope you will continue with the loving support you give me every day. I would also need your help, but I will tell you all more about it real soon!
There, that’s what I wanted to share with you all. Thanks again so much. I got nothing but love for you all!